a potrait of winter
by April Lauren
Summary: The last chapter in Sabe's life and the part she played in Leia's. Told through glimpses of time, as if one was looking at old photographs. Hints of SabeObiWan


Leia's eyes were inquisitive, they were often inquisitive; she wanted to know and know everything. Knowledge excited her. Thus Sabe always felt the child's eyes upon her, _What is this? Who is that? Why is this? _  
She could not be exhausted.  
Leia sat near her, looking up at her with attentiveness. Leia had wanted to go out and see some of the first lights lit highin the mountains that one could see from the city.It was all incelebration of the first day of Alderaan's Festival of Lights. Alderaan was the only planet to Sabe's knowledge that celebrated a holiday in the middle of winter, she supposed that it was to lighten the dark days that came upon the planet in winter. It did make more sense to celebrate in dark times than in the light. She understood the Alderaan way of thinking.  
Sabe had wanted to see the first lights as well, but she was tired. Even walking out of doors had become a challenge for her. She despised her weak body. So Leia had went out with Bail Organa and the Queen. She had just came back to be with Sabe by the fire. "How was it?" Sabe asked.  
"Beautiful," Leia whispered excitedly. She was only four years of age and yet Leia's understanding of the world was beyond a normal child's. She was much like her mother in that respect.  
The fire seemed to rise in the grate at that moment. "It's snowing outside," Leia told her.

She had worked for Alderaan longer than she had ever lived on Naboo. She came to understand Alderaan as much as she understood Naboo. It was Padme who had found her a place here. Yet Padme could not have seen the far reaching affect Sabe would have on her life just by working here. Bail Organa and his wife never seemed to regret the partSabe played and she was grateful to them, for they seem to trust Obi-Wan's judgement over their own.  
As long as Sabe worked on this planet, its high mountains had never known snow until the Emperor and Darth Vader took reign in the galaxy. It was a phenomenon unexplained and to Sabe, who had never seen snow before, it was intriguing.  
It was then when Obi-Wan came with Padme's children to the Bail's home planet, it was the one place of refuge in the moment of crisis. It was the only place they would be safe until he was ready to separate them. He relied upon Bail Organa and herself, so he had said, to help him.

"I wish you could have seen it," Leia spoke to her in an almost pleading tone.  
"I shall see it tomorrow," Sabe returned in an almost determined tone.

Obi-Wan placed the snow into her hands as if presenting a gift. He watched her face focus upon the snow, she was captured by it and her gaze could not be called away.  
But Sabe had to finally release it as the pain became too strong even for her.  
"It is a pity," Obi-Wan agreed reading her mind and this did not surprise Sabe. He always had a way of reading her that no one else had, not even Padme. At first this had unsettled her, but now she had grown so accustomed to it that she did not even spare a second thought about it.  
Sabe looked up at him. "One cannot have beauty without pain," she whispered, rubbing her hands together, endeavoring vainly to warm them.  
Before Obi-Wan could reply, the Queen came walking up the path toward them carrying both Luke and Leia. Sabe bit her lip in reaction to the irony.

Obi-Wan planned to only stay a week, not so much as out of respect for the holiday, but for the wish that the children should remain together for as long as possible.  
The fact that Sabe was near gave him reason to observe her with Leia. She was like the mother who did not wantthe child, but upon first setting eyes upon her childdecides they cannot help but love it anyway. As with anything regarding Padme, Sabe was loyal. To her last Sabe was going to love this final part of Padme in her children. Whispers and longings would enter Obi-Wan's mind as he would watch her with the children, they did her good, her eyes seemed brighter around them. But those thoughts would be whisked away before they could even settle.  
How odd they were, he and she. A kind of mother and father without any training or understanding. But Obi-Wan noted that instinct ruled better in this situation than training could have done.  
In their hands they held those two children, the hope for the future.

They walked the palace halls. Innumerable fire places were lit, both illuminating the hall and keeping its occupants warm, it was of the utmost importance to stay warm.  
"I find irony all too often," Sabe spoke bitterly.  
"It is an tiring guest who has overstayed its initial welcome," Obi-Wan agreed. Not so long ago he would have stated that with amusement in his voice, but in that moment it was grave.  
"Leia thinks I am her mother," Sabe said, letting go of a fact that had been pressuring heavily upon her chest. It felt like she was releasing a boulder.  
Obi-Wan did not seem to find this news surprising. He simply nodded, "We must keep it that way."  
It was Sabe who was to be surprised, "But Padme! She must remember her."  
"But she does remember her I think. That is why she confuses her with you. Your face and Padme's have merged into one in her mind. Besides, it is safer this way, " he finished with a finality to his tone.  
" I cannot do this Obi-Wan," Sabe felt her forehead furrow. She felt a frustrated rise of indignation in her chest. As she looked at Obi-Wan she saw even a gleam sympathy in his eyes, that was only salt upon her irritation.  
As if reading her mind he spoke, "Padme would want it this way. You know this."  
He struck at the heart of the matter, he had a knack for doing so. Sabe felt her spirit acquiesce, sensibility had a way of taming her like nothing else did.  
She turned her gaze onto the nearest fire, its flames were fighting to lick the top of the grate but never were they able to reach it. Perhaps this part fit her better than anything else did, she had spent the early part of her life masquerading for her friend, she would do it again.

It was as if Leia could sense her moments of tiredness. The child would come closer and observe her face with an attentiveness. "You are white," she would eventually speak with a slight trembling of sadness and fear in her young voice.  
"The Festival of Lights is almost here, I think my skin changes color for the celebration," Sabe offered the child as if telling a story.  
"They do not have the Festival of Lights on Naboo," Leia spoke recalling past stories she had heard Sabe tell.  
"No," Sabe shook her head. "Nor anywhere else in the galaxy that I know of. My first Festival of Lights was here on Alderaan."  
"It was happy?" Leia asked curiously, somehow sensing it was otherwise.  
"No," Sabe spoke truthfully. "You were the only thing happy about it." Sabe continued, "But they are happier now," and she smiled. Leia returned the smile, she had always found Sabe's smile infectious.  
How was it that the fire never ceased burning in the grate?

"What about the boy?" she asked  
"I plan to take him to the last known relatives that he has back on Vader's home planet, for I do not think Vader would ever want to return there," he spoke his eyes always consistently upon her own. He was not one to break a gaze, it was a jedi trait and considered polite to keep a gaze. There was a tiredness in his voice, a tiredness that made him seem much older than he really was.  
"Tatooine?" Sabe asked, the name stirring faint memories into her consciousness. Those memories seemed so long ago, it made her feel older than she was.  
Obi-Wan nodded, "I plan to stay there myself and keep an eye upon him." A hint of his old smile returned for just a moment, "From afar although. For Owen Lars, the boy's uncle, does not care for me and he has made that perfectly clear."  
Sabe felt herself return the smile, there was something catching, "Well evenyou can't win them all."

The valley was dark, save for the first candles lit for that first night of the Festival. Sabe had never seen it before and she looked at the hills around her with something of wonderment. She had thought herself too old for wonder. A ship loomed ahead ofboth herself and Obi-Wanas they walked side-by-side. Obi-Wan held a sleeping, oblivious Luke in his arms.  
"You are sure Vader has no sense of where you are?" Sabe asked, feeling the cold recesses of fear creep into her heart despite the lights that surrounded the city.  
Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, he was reaching out trying to detect the reason for Sabe's fears. "I can never be absolutely certain," he spoke humbly. "But, as for Luke, my sense tells me he assumes the "child", as he terms it, died with Padme and he has not yet had reason to suspect otherwise."  
"But surely he can sense his own children?" Sabe asked.  
Obi-Wan smiled, "A convenient aspect of the force is that one cannot sense anything without looking for it. So his own kin could be talking to him face-to-face and he would not sense it."  
The ship's droid came out and took the infant from Obi-Wan's arms into its metal hands. Luke seem to recognize the change for he squirmed and the droid made metallic hushing noises in an effort to settle him. Sabe felt torn as she watched the child taken away from the night air and then disappear into the light penetrating from the ship. Her emotions were running inside of her with such a vehemence that she had never known. She wished she could control them.  
Obi-Wan turned to her and seemed to sense her conflict. His eyes held her own and there was a sadness in his gaze. "I'm sorry Sabe," he spoke softly. He had never apologized to her before.  
"You do not have to be sorry Obi-Wan," she told him with the matter-of-fact tone that was habitual to her. "You have never done anything wrong."  
Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, but he would not release her gaze. There was something he was trying to communicate to her. She was not sure if she wanted to understand. For if she didthat emotion,emotionthat was caged inside of her like a screaming lion, would escape if she did. She put her hand upon his shoulder, "Obi-Wan..." How was it that either of them could never say what they meant and be done with it? They always spoke in riddles and they always hid from truth. But then duty had always been of utmost importance in their lives and although both were certain it had been the right path, and still was the right path, it did not make it any easier. But then their lives had never been easy, and evenif they had chosen not to follow duty it would still have not been easy.  
Should she tell him? Should she tell him of the sickness she had acquired. Should she tell him that something was eating away at her inside, certainly killing her slowly. Could she selfishly place that burden upon him? But then she saw a glint in his eye and her decision was too late, he understood. He instinctively covered her hand upon his shoulder with his own and there was warmth in his hand that filled her body and comforted her, "How long do you have?"  
"Leia will have several years with me at the most," she answered. "I'm sorry Obi-Wan," she spoke, wishing she could do more. But she could not think, she felt old.  
"We seem to be a pair for apologies tonight," Obi-Wan observed. There was emotion running through his body that was similar to what was running through her own, Obi-Wan disliked to show emotion, but he so often did. He could not help himself. Before she could process his movement, she felt Obi-Wan place his arms about her and he held her firmly and yet gently. He had only held her once before. She did not ask why now, she only held onto him with a fierceness unknown to her. They held each other under that ship, it was their only way of communicating the volume of thoughts that they could never speak aloud. Their breath could be seen in the cold night air, the effect circling them.  
Finally Obi-Wan released her, but kept his hands upon her shoulders, "Be careful Sabe, I cannot be here and yet I should know if anything happened to you. You do not deserve any more pain."  
"Does anyone?" Sabe asked, fighting away the tears that were hovering and threatening to escape. "Take care Obi-Wan, my friend," she whispered.  
Obi-Wan looked up at the hovering ship, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead like loving brother, or something more, before turning to enter the ship. His jedi cloak billowing behind him.

The fire had died. Only the glow of embers remained alive. The room had gotten darker and Sabe did not know where Leia had gone. Her mind felt cloudy and her breath felt weak. She was ready to shut her eyes, she was tired. But then Sabe felt Leia climb up onto her lamp and lean her little frame into her own. Sabe hoped that Leia would not be able to feel her weak heartbeat. "I brought you a gift," Leia told her in its intelligent tone. Sabe felt Leia press a handful of what could only be melting snow into her open hand, its cold material made her hand feel numb and she was fascinated.

- Finis -


End file.
